Someone Make This !@#%ing Zebra Stop Galloping on Me!
Something’s wrong with me. There are a lot of something’s wrong with me that we already know about and that’s the problem. When you have enough comorbidities, everything has to be taken seriously. If you have a headache that last for days, that galloping noise is probably part of a herd of horses that includes dehydration, lack of sleep, poor diet, and so on. If you have a lot wrong with you, now you have to go to the emergency room because those hoofbeats could be coming from a zebra striped with aneurysm and God knows what else.
Once in the emergency room, if you have a normal immune system and healthy kidneys, you can take the best drug for your problem or a cocktail of meds that should do the trick. If your kidneys are bad, the third best drug may be it for you, or two out of the three drugs from the cocktail that should have done the trick.
I’m having extreme fatigue, perpetual headache, body aches, muscle weakness, lack of appetite, and I’m sleeping large portions of the day. We’ve eliminated the horses of Covid, flu, and hundreds of other pretty little ponies, but the galloping continues. The ground is now strewn with horses and zebras, but the galloping continues. We’ve started testing the zebras that include viruses that are usually only known by transplant patients because people with normal immune systems fight them off.
Working while sick is sick. You should see me leaning over this keyboard as I plod away at the keys. I take breaks after every couple paragraphs. Novel writing has been pushed to another month. I’m conducting interviews for an upcoming LitReactor article. On the phone calls, I can sound jovial in between closing my eyes. The Zoom calls are tougher to fake.
I’m not above getting no work done in a day. I’ve done it most days in the second half of September. Then, occasionally, I’ll dodge zebra hooves to get a newsletter scheduled or a paying article finished. This week I made ridiculous money writing a short email for someone, proving I’m better at writing emails that all of you, even when I’m sick.
Here are some things you might be interested in:
“Magic House Flip S16E4 on the Home Food Crime & Ancient Curses Network”
by Jay Wilburn
The episode opened with the typical montage that included scenes from the previous fifteen seasons of the popular home improvement show Magic House Flip. A wizard contractor who dropped out of the series in season seven ran by in one video clip wearing a tool belt and holding a broken magic wand. His purple robes were torn and a large red dragon followed him through the kitchen ripping away appliances and new cabinets with its bulk. That was a favorite episode of the audience if not of that wizard. This was followed by the Sisters high-fiving in a bright remodeled breakfast nook free of dragons, curses, and other whatnot. The next scene in the opening credits showed…
Me editing the first three chapters of Stone Wicked.
First Two Books of the Old Southern Gods series available now.
Buy Old Southern Gods book one and two.
Thanks, Everybody
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